


Don't Go Away

by jenniferjun1per



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-03-03 16:44:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13345299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenniferjun1per/pseuds/jenniferjun1per
Summary: Cassian reflects after an argument with Jyn.





	Don't Go Away

**Author's Note:**

> It's been cold and rainy here so naturally that affects my writing mood. Inspired by the song by Oasis.

Cassian feels the cold seep through his bones as he adjusts the scarf around his neck, but the numbness he feels in his limbs has nothing to do with the weather. The uber driver taking him to the airport chats pleasantly enough, but Cassian hasn’t the heart for it. His mind drifts.

_ “You don’t have to go.” _

_ “I’d rather be there.” _

_ “Rather than being here with me.” _

_ “Jyn, that’s not what I said.” _

_ “It doesn’t matter what you say, Cassian. It doesn’t matter what you don’t say.” _

_ “I’m sorry, Jyn.” _

_ “Me too.” _

For all the years he’ll be fortunate enough to live, he’ll never forget the look on her face at that moment. He scrubs the heel of his hands into his eyes, hard enough that he sees stars, but it’s not enough to take the pain away from his heart. Casually his uber driver asks if he’s alright, and Cassian tries for a lighthearted chuckle but it comes out as a short exhale of breath, a puff of air. He says he’s just tired, these early morning flights you know, and he hopes the redness in his eyes doesn’t give away the fact that he hadn’t slept, not a wink, because she had been angry with him and she’d left the apartment, not with the slam of a door but with the resolute click of the lock.

_ “But it’s not always about me.” _

_ “It’s not always about me either.” _

_ “I’m just busy.” _

_ “I’m busy too.” _

_ “I know you are.” _

Snippets of conversations flitter through his brain like dry leaves kicked up by a strong wind, and he can’t get away from his ineptitude, his inaction, his inability to just say what he needs to say. He drops his head into his hands, his fingers threading through his hair, grabbing at the roots as he curses his big brain. What use are you, he thinks, when you can’t even come up with the right words to tell her, to make her stay, to make things right.

The car comes to a stop but Cassian doesn’t move. The driver is waiting, eyes flicking to the rearview mirror, his nervous chatter continuing as time ticks on. Cassian clutches the handle of his suitcase, knuckles turning white, eyes shut tight as he thinks of her.

_ “Don’t go away.” _

The driver finally turns to him, a questioning look in his eyes. With his voice steady, Cassian says: “Change of plans.”

\---

It’s probably more than he can hope that she’ll be there, she’d left with a hastily packed bag, but his heart hammers just the same. He’d taken the stairs two at a time, and now not only is his heart beating out of his chest but his breath is coming in heaving gasps. His fingers shake as he turns the key in the lock, and when he opens the door she’s there.

He wants to fall to the floor at her feet.

She looks up at him, surprised to see him there, but the look on his face must’ve spoken volumes, because now she’s standing, and taking a step towards him. He makes it there faster, he doesn’t know how, on legs that feel like jelly. She opens her mouth to say something, but no words come out, which suits him at the moment because all he wants to do is hold her, so he takes her into his arms and she doesn’t protest, just settles in like it’s where she belongs. His arms settle around her waist and hers settle against his shoulders, and he feels the warmth of her palm sliding along the back of his neck. She keeps her hand there, and with the other one she places it gently on his chest, over his heart, and even through the thick layers of clothing that he’s wearing he can still feel her. Her head pillows softly against his shoulder and he wants to say something now,  _ I just need more time _ , but she only nods her head,  _ I can make this right, I want to be with you, for always, I love you _ …

“I know,” is all she says, and for all of the doubt that’s flitted through his mind he realizes he knows too, and what’s more, he’s always known.

“Thanks for coming home.”


End file.
